“Of course, this might sound completely idiotic to someone on the side,” a source close to the editorial board has stated. “I mean, this fabulous internet news site that we’re doing doesn’t even have a URL. But that’s not really that important. The poet Alexander Pushkin, for example, didn’t have his own site. That didn’t keep him from writing so many great poems, becoming a dissident in Czarist Russia, and shagging Natalia Goncharova. And we’re going on to even greater things. Compared to us, Pushkin was a wimp.”
Answering why the news room started publishing news long before the site’s official launch, an unnamed source said: “To be honest, we’re just sick to death of picking our noses, downloading porn, playing Quake and hanging out in chat rooms. We’re tired. Actually getting some work done would be a welcome break from the day’s tedium.”
“Moreover, as Karl Marx once said, “labor has made a man out of a monkey”. We decided to use ourselves in a daring experiment - to see what would happen if you forced a man to work instead of a monkey,” the source added.
Russia’s burgeoning online press has not reacted to the appearance of a new and serious player in the information field. According to some independent analysts, one of the reasons no one has spoken up is their poor command of English.